Why ‘how are you?’ isn’t just ‘how are you’

I constantly review my teaching practices, whether by rechecking a way to deliver a class, an exercise, my own posture, etc. These days two different things happened that got me thinking about the reason behind them. I would like to share both with you.

One student went to South Africa. I encouraged her to study there, gave some studying tips and suggestions – having studied abroad myself – and we had a class the day before she left. As usual, we talked a great amount and when we said goodbye I wished her a merry Christmas, Happy New Year and she’d have a great time in Cape Town. I thought I wouldn’t hear from her again before January 2018 because she will be back when I am on holidays; nevertheless, she texted me from the airport with a picture of her passport and herself in front of the gate. It’s not a kind of student who has never travelled abroad. In fact, she’s just come back from Europe. But her gesture of sending me those pictures warmed my heart.

Another student’s recently lost her dad. Some days ago she found she had a half-sister that her father had hidden from her and her mother. She was delighted to find the girl because she had always wanted a sibling. She said she had something to tell me one class and I, thinking it was something regarding English or her job, asked about it. She excitedly told me the story and I couldn’t help crying a bit – can’t help – to hear how cheerful she was with the news and with her recently discovered big-sister condition. She ended the story saying, ‘I had to tell you’.

What’s my point here, beside me being a cry-baby is, ‘why do my students want to share these with me?’ I’m not and neither is my intention to be a psychologist; I am fully aware of my role as an English teacher. But what kind of human being am I if I don’t care about my students’ well-being? They know I care about them because whenever I ask: ‘how are you?’ I’m not just greeting them; I’m truly interested to hear what’s going on with their lives and with themselves. Of course, as I have a vast majority of 1-to-1 classes, and no boss, I’m allowed to “waste” my time as much as I’d like with them – as long as they’re speaking English. I obviously don’t mean every teacher should do the same; however, I kindly suggest you: spend some minutes by actually asking ‘how are you?’ and making sure your students know you mean it. I'm sure it not only makes them better speakers of English but it also shows them someone cares. 

Picture from this website